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Other people have pointed out that Conservative MPs have received four times as much money for appearances on Russia Today than Labour MPs, but that’s different, because they’ve been on innocent bits of Russia Today, commentating on snooker or presenting a Russian version of Theresa May has already shown how robust she is in opposing Putin.Later she explained her decision, saying, “It is true that international relations were a factor in the government’s decision-making.” But that was different, because back then the Russian government were kind poisoners.For the time has come to set aside our setting aside of the Cold War mindset, as the only true friends are those who were friends with our enemies until the other day.I hope that’s perfectly clear.” With similar consistency, the City of London has been resolute over the years, insisting that no matter how much money Putin’s oligarchs may have, their money isn’t welcome in an institution as ethically pure as the British banking system.The plan is to take so much money off them that they’ve none left to spend on poison.The Tories say that just because the money comes from Russians, it doesn’t mean it’s from supporters of Putin’s regime. For example, Lubov Chernukhin, wife of Putin’s former deputy finance minister, paid £160,000 to play tennis with David Cameron and Boris Johnson.Even more encouraging are the measured arguments flooding the country, such as, “So you doubt the Government, do you?!?The fact you described Putin every day for 18 years as a filthy despicable megalomaniac homophobic gangster who should be eaten alive by parasitic wasps doesn’t hide the fact you obviously him and want to marry him, you treacherous Putin-supporting bastard.” Nevertheless, if this is a new Cold War, at least we’re lucky enough to have people we can trust leading our side: Boris Johnson and Donald Trump.

And you can see their point, because who could ever imagine Britain entering an international conflict on the basis of evidence that turned out to be a bit dodgy?

We should set aside our Cold War mindset.” This is why he now sounds like Churchill in his unwavering demands for global opposition to Putin.

Tomorrow he’ll be even clearer, and pronounce: “It is the duty of all right-thinking supporters of freedom and liberty to join me in standing forthright against the people I insisted we must be friends with.

Our property developers have robustly resisted the temptation to allow any oligarchs to buy hundreds of flats by any rivers, leaving them empty while they wait for the value to rise.

Try all day and you won’t think of a single football club that’s been bought by a Russian and flooded with cash so it can buy any player it likes, yet still gets trounced by Barcelona.

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