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Lisa struggled with a sexless marriage for over twenty years.In her mid-forties she couldn’t stand it any longer and chose to end the marriage.So I went ahead and got married to him.“I think he’s changed his mind.”I remember hiding with the phone in the closet, he was sleeping. ”I said, “He hasn’t touched me since our honeymoon, it’s been three weeks.”She said “What? He doesn’t even kiss me goodnight.”She said “No, you’re exaggerating.”I said “No, something’s wrong.”This crap went on for twenty years.He would be somewhat okay for a month or two maybe, and then he wouldn’t touch me for two years. I could kiss him and he’d kiss me back, so we got along in every way, but there was something violently wrong with him sexually.

If your marriage lasted at least ten years, you can claim Social Security benefits on the entire earnings history of your ex-spouse.These are known as “derivative benefits,” and they are equal to one-half of your ex-spouse’s benefits.It’s an either-or situation – you can choose to get your own benefits or the derivative benefits of your ex-spouse, whichever is greater.It was bad, but in every other way he was perfect, so it was really confusing to me.I generally try to avoid discussions about what are and are not “legitimate” reasons for divorce because only the spouses truly know what a marriage is like and even then they can have vastly different opinions.

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