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But however you got here, the question now is where do you go from here?And how do you figure out who you are and what you want as a newly single person?Maybe it's trying a new sport, considering a different place of worship, or going back to college.Maybe you realize that you'd like to move to a new city or even spend a year living in Paris.What are some of the things you can do differently?" Look for changes you can say yes to, instead of dwelling on what's out of reach."As long as the changes you make are healthy and constructive, these are very appropriate," says Alberti.

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"Or perhaps you always preferred sensitive musicians, or athletes, or the quiet, shy type.

"It's common to sweep these emotions under the table, but you have to work through them or they'll pollute your life going forward," Alberti says.

If you find yourself resisting the idea of therapy, you might want to keep in mind that therapy doesn't mean you have a problem or that you're in crisis.

" Even if, by the time you split, the divorce was something you wanted, a divorce still represents a loss.

"Whatever your marriage and divorce experience has been, there will be emotions that have to do with grief," says psychotherapist Florence Falk, Ph D, MSW, author of On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone.

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